


Absolutely Not Worried At All

by Jak_the_ATAT



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Belikov needs a chill pill, Comedy, Happy Birthday Ender, Other, Poor dating advice, Sergei is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29266206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jak_the_ATAT/pseuds/Jak_the_ATAT
Summary: Sergei has a crush on the new kid, Bell. Belikov is a hopeless romantic. Shit goes down.Birthday fic for EnderAvis!
Relationships: Bell (Call of Duty)/OC
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Absolutely Not Worried At All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EnderAvis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnderAvis/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Ender! I hope you like this random interpretation of your OC!

"I swear on Lenin, I will kill you if you don't try at least this once, братан."

That was honestly a terrifying threat for Sergei to hear. Especially from the one man who knew his crush on the new pilot was nothing short of head over heels. Okay, so Bell wasn't exactly new, but he hadn't seen them around the platoon long enough to think of them as a seasoned member.

"Besides," Dimitri continued, "If there's one thing I know about Bell, you can't be wishy-washy with them. They don't like bullshit. And if you show bullshit, they'll think that you don't like them."

"But what if they actually don't like me?" A silly question, but he had to ask. He could talk about any chopper for hours, but romance? No. Just. No.

And he certainly didn't help his situation by going straight to his cousin to ask for relationship advice. Don't get him wrong, Dimitri was the best damned cousin anyone could ask for, but he could just as easily be a curse and the worst possible solution.

Like right now.

As for his question, Dimitri answered that with ease. "Oh, they'll like you! After all, you share an interest! You like choppers! They like choppers! If either of you get talking about one, you'll be talking for hours without a second thought.

"Dima, has it ever occurred to you that we're both big into choppers because that is literally our job?"

Dimitri thought for a second. "In a past life, yes. This life, no. But that's not the point. Tonight, you will go out with Bell. No exceptions—"

Clearly, telling Dimitri he liked Bell was a terrible idea...

"—And we'll arrange a dinner for you two!" Dimitri said with a childish expression and gleaming eyes.

Sergei frowned. "We'll?"

"Ah yes, I forgot to tell you Charkov is involved."

"CHARKOV??!!!" Not that man! Asides from making inferiors shake in their boots when he spoke, Charkov was the no-nonsense type of general that hated everyone. Only Dimitri made a friend out of him, simply because he saved the man's life once upon a time ago. On top of that, if Charkov was involved, there was no stopping this plan. The man didn't know what the word "нет" meant.

"What would Charkov know about romance?" Sergei challenged.

"He's married."

Деръмо.

And so, thirty minutes later, Dimitri dragged poor Sergei down to Charkov's office to plan out the arranged date. In contrast to everything he knew about Charkov, the guy was as shit of a romantic as Dimitri was. For the first twenty minutes, the two threw ideas out, such as loading a cannon with confetti and giving Sergei a loudspeaker to ask Bell out ("No!" Sergei said), or using a Mi-24 to pull a banner that read "Will you go out with me?" ("Absolutely not!").

Finally, Dimitri came up with an idea. "What if I invited Bell out to eat with Sergei and I in the city? Then before they come, I will leave and the two can talk all night!"

"I like that idea!" Charkov said. "I can clear their schedules and make sure neither will be assigned any duties tonight."

"I don't like that idea," Sergei said, but neither were listening to him.

Charkov turned to Sergei with that creepy smile of his. "What time works for you, чувак?"

"How about NoThanks o'Clock?" Sergei said, and Charkov nodded understandingly.

"Wonderful! 1900 tonight!"

"That's not that I said!"

"I know it's not, but it's what I wanted to hear," Charkov said sweetly.

And that's how Sergei found himself in a restaurant in the city with Dimitri, dressed up beyond what he thought Bell's standards even were. If anyone asked him, he would have worn his usual uniform, as there was no reason to wear this tight clothing two sizes too small for his broad body and show off his shoulders and chest. But Dimitri wanted to dress him, and in return, Sergei threatened that if this didn't go well, Dimitri would never see the living daylight again.

Across the room, Charkov stood watch at the door. The three didn't have to wait long. As always, Bell came exactly at the time Dimitri invited them. Charkov signaled to Dimitri, who quickly stood. "You'll do great, Sergei," Dimitri said with a charming smile. "Whatever you say, I was never here. And neither was Charkov." And like that, he magically disappeared as Bell entered the room.

They had decided to wear their dress uniform, which didn't bring out any notable features but to Sergei, the bit of red from the patches brought out the slight rosy color in Bell's cheeks.

Bell's eyes landed on Sergei and they waltzed over, sitting down across from him where Dimitri once was. "Where's Dimitri?"

"He's not here," Sergei said, though his voice failed to sound convincing.

"Ah, that's okay," Bell said. "Should we wait until he gets here to start eating?"

"I don't know." And genuinely, he didn't know. What he did know was that he saw Charkov facepalm in the background before leaving. Oh great. These two probably had a bug planted somewhere and were listening in. Either that or Charkov had a knack for reading lips, which he highly doubted because the man wasn't that smart despite his General title and his scary demeanor.

Bell shrugged, oblivious to Sergei's internal crisis. "Well, I'm starving, so I think we should get eating." And with that, they picked up their menu and began to read.

For the first five minutes, neither spoke, Bell pondering over the various meals while Sergei internally died multiple times. How dare those two. How dare those two hook him up with Bell, nonetheless, in the most unconventional way. At least give him a stack of flashcards with conversation starters! What do people do on dates? Sure, he read romance books sometimes, but books were meticulously planned out. Real life was a fucking tornado on LSD.

Fingers snapped before his face and he jumped three feet out of his seat. "You okay over there?" Bell asked. "Should I get you more water?"

"No, no, I'm completely fine." He gave them a half-assed smile, though it didn't last long. "Listen, Bell, this wasn't meant to be a normal dinner—"

"Would you just hold that thought for a second? I want to ask the waiter what today's special is." And Bell waved down a waiter and began chatting with them while Sergei simply waited, wishing he could go to sleep right now and forget everything about this day. Clearly, Charkov and Dimitri's plan to get him a date didn't compensate for the fact that his date would be half an airhead.

Bell ordered their food with great care while Sergei randomly picked something on the menu to go along with chamomile tea. The waiter wandered off and Bell clasped their hands together, putting them on the table. "I hope Dimitri is okay."

"He's not coming," Sergei said, making Bell raise their eyebrows. "He said he's run into some traffic and he won't be able to make it here."

Their eyes narrowed and their bottom lip stuck out. "Sergei, you're a shit liar, you know that? How worried should I be about Dimitri right now?"

"Absolutely not worried at all."

"And why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because—" He froze. In that moment, his life flashed before his eyes and he wondered if he would ever see another sunrise again. "Because I'm sure he will be just fine. He's Dimitri. He's got plot armor—"

"Sergei, is this a date?"

Seriously? It was that easy for them to guess? Then again, Bell wasn't one of the smartest for no reason. Reluctantly, he lowered his head and nodded, bracing himself for whatever anger they had in store.

Bell instead decided to laugh. And laugh hard. So hard, in fact, the rest of the restaurant paused to stare at the hysterical soldier and someone muttered, "Should I call the KGB about a psycho?"

"Oh, Sergei!" Bell said. "You could have just asked me out like a normal person!"

Fuck.

He managed a small smile in between his blush. "Now where would the fun in that be?" He asked with a bit of timidness.

"Good point," Bell said. They paused to thank the waiter for bringing the food, then continued on speaking. "Well then, I have a proposal. Would you like to finish this dinner together then go visit Dimitri and Charkov? Maybe peel a turnip to some pepper with me?"

"You want to punch them?" Sergei asked.

"For making you wear this ridiculously tight suit. I'm surprised you're still breathing."

"I'm not."

"See? That's my point."

A smile crept onto Sergei's face as he nodded to the idea. "I would love to do that with you, Красотка."

"Then it's settled!" And from there, the two launched into conversation, giggling in between bites as they told stories from their platoons and obsessed over the different types of helicopters and each unique component.

As for Charkov and Dimitri, well, they got their asses kicked in the training room that night.

"Worth it," Dimitri chuckled before passing out.

**Author's Note:**

> I probably butchered him lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
